Klyde Warren Park Food Trucks (Dallas, TX)

While I’m on board with food trucks in general (I like that my office building now has a different one outaide for lunch every day), I do have to complain about the artisan food trucks. 

To go “back in my day” again…

Back in my day, food trucks were taco trucks – you’d go to these little stands that were known only by word of mouth and pay absurdly small prices for a good amount of Mexican food and eat with a bunch of strangers on some nearby picnic benches.

Now you’re (OK, I’m) dropping $8-10 on a basic gyro or a mini-pizza; it costs MORE than it would at a restaurant, somehow.

The park was fun – lots of cool stuff to do and you can visit nearby art museums for free if you want some culture (but honestly, for the air conditioning). The food trucks were so-so – the food was adequate but overpriced, but I didn’t have to go try to park again or walk around to a restaurant, so I guess it’s a convenience fee. 

The one food truck that was especially delicious was called Cool Haus, maybe, (I’m writing about this about 11 months later). Snickerdoodles with ice cream between them? Yes, every day of the week. The $5 or so for an ice cream sandwich felt ridiculous, but given that I’d just paid like $20 for basically a personal pan pizza and an aggressively mediocre gyro, it was the best waste of money I had that day.

Thank you, Cool Haus (probably).

Hyatt Regency Dallas (Dallas, TX)

Last October, the company I work for had an International Conference at the Hyatt Regency (and around town). I played no part in selecting the menu, but I salute those that did.

Since I didn’t have to pay for the food, it was already automatically great in my book, but when you can have things like unlimited fajitas or meat from land, air, and sea in one meal…what more can a fella ask for?

(This isn’t so much a review as it is me telling you I ate a lot of great food for free. Sorry for bragging.)

A dish as tasty as it is made unattractive by my desire to mound as much of it on one plate as possible.

Plating, schmating. Fish, chicken, and beef along with various sides? Yes.

Breakfast sandwich and cantaloupe. Not seen: Pineapple, which I either ate or waited for a second plate to eat.

Chick-Fil-A Catering

First of all, let’s make something clear. Waffle fries are overrated garbage, an insult to both fries and waffles. You can’t fit many into a fry container and the few that you get don’t fit well into sauce containers. They have way too much potato for their surface area as well.

That said, waffle chips are absolutely amazing. Everything that is wrong with waffle fries is corrected -they’re just as salty as regular chips, but with a little more airiness and texture. If I were putting chips in my sandwich, they would be ideal…but they’re too good to NOT eat by themselves. Why do they continue with the foolishness of waffle fries in their restaurants?

We’ve had Chick-Fil-A’s catering a few times at work, and I’ve tried a few of their meal options, all of which are good. The chicken is tasty and they top things properly. But all the meals come with waffle chips and the cookie in every box, so really, the main course doesnt matter. Somehow, there are always extra chips and cookies left over, too! Man, I love seeing the email saying we have catering for lunch.

Chapps Burgers (Grand Prairie, TX)

Chapps was just a restaurant I passed by daily on my way to work, until they closed down to remodel and rebrand as Chapps Burgers. When you add “Burgers” to a name, there’s at least a 90% chance I’m interested in eating there (exception:Burger King).

Emoji review: 👍 (The emoji reviews are probably going away soon, in case you can’t tell.)

Anyway, the new place had a Mooyah/Five Guys style ordering process, with a slightly classier vibe. The vibe costs a little more, and the burgers are different, but an acceptable option.

As you can see in the photo, the burger patty is on the thick side and doesn’t reach the edge of the bun. (I think I’m becoming a fan of thin patties; you can get more flavor with that extra surface area and that just makes more space for more cheese. That’s what we call a win-win, unless you’re lactose intolerant, in which case, I’m sorry for your loss.) So if you like ’em, in the misapplied words of Sir Mix-A-Lot, “real thick and juicy,” Chapps might have the burgers you’re looking for. 

Their fries were…well, it’s been a few months, but I’ve forgotten them, so they’re forgettable.

Major selling point: They did have Big Red as a fountain drink option. That’s very Texan of them and also something I heartily endorse. 

I wasn’t upset about my experience at Chapps, but Im not really compelled to break my new streak of days driving by it on the way to work without going in, either.

Arby’s (Irving, TX)

I know, I always eat at super-classy joints, so what am I doing at Arby’s? Why, trying a smokehouse brisket sandwich, of course.

Emoji review: 🐄😐

I ate this a longggggggg time ago, but I remember the restaurant was fairly empty and clean. The tables looked cool. The Kid’s Meal toy was a pretty fun little flip book with constellations and galaxies.

The brisket sandwich was a disappointment, because of course it was. I ordered brisket at Arby’s and I live in Texas. So that’s on me. I had forgotten that curly fries were standard at Arby’s, so that was a nice surprise.

All in all, a very OK experience that doesn’t provoke anger towards Arby’s, but I wouldn’t ever say “Let’s go to Arby’s!”*.

*Unless they’re bringing back the 5 for $5. Or the real Chicken Cordon Bleu sandwich, which was incredible to have at a fast food restaurant.

Wingstop (Irving, TX)

Apparently Wingstop’s Facebook advertising worked to gain them at least one customer. I already knew I liked them because I like (boneless) wings and french fries, and they have tasty versions of both.

Emoji review: 🍗🍗🍗🍗🍗🍗🍗🍗🍗🍗🍗🍗🍗🍗🍗🍗🍗🍗🍗🍗🍗🍗🍗🍗🍟🍟🍟😙😙

Jack in the Box (Grand Prairie, TX)

One of the things that’s so sad about the eastern half of the country is that they don’t have Jack in the Box, which has been my 24/7 fast food jam for a couple decades now. One of the delightful things about the DFW area is that it has pretty much all of the regional chains. In N Out? Got it. Waffle House? Got it. Shake Shack? Got it. Smashburger? Got it. There are also plenty of Jack in the Boxes, including one near work. And we often get coupons in the mail!

Emoji review: 🍔🍟🏢🇺🇸

AT&T Stadium (Arlington, TX)

I was given an opportunity to take a free ticket to the Cowboys’ preseason game against the Dolphins and since I’d never been to AT&T stadium, I snapped it up. I’d looked at tickets to the game against the Seahawks last year, and since standing-room only “seats” were going for over $100 for a regular season game, I sure wasn’t planning on buying my way into the stadium anytime soon.

Emoji review: ⭐,🍔, 🔵🧀, 🍣

Carl’s Jr. (Santa Rosa, NM)

Where did it all go wrong? My family and I used to LOVE Carl’s Jr. When we moved from Southern California to the Northwest, we even wrote to corporate HQ to implore them to put a location in my hometown of Kennewick (which DOES have one, so I’ll pretend we were the reason it came to town).

Emoji review: ⭐🍔🍟, 💭,😧

Riff Raff Brewing Company (Pagosa Springs, CO)

On our last full day in Colorado (let’s not pretend that waking up at 6 a.m. to get on the road back to Texas counts as any time spent in the state), we finally ventured into downtown Pagosa Springs. That’s where we discovered the downtown sulphur scent from the hot springs and that you really wouldn’t want to hang out in certain spots (again, no threat of crime…just that smell).

Upwind of that area a bit was Riff Raff Brewing Company.

Emoji review: 🐑🍔, 🕘, 🕶👜 (pretend that’s a bowling ball bag)